To the assholes of Chicago:

You know what I really like best of all. I like it when you steal stuff off my bike. That's the best way to end a perfect day. I got to work from home this morning before going to the Cubs game. I spent my 2nd year work anniversary watching the Cubs play at Wrigley Field on a beautiful sunny day. We rounded the day out with some festive drinks (a la Miller Lite) at the Cubby Bear and then I walked to my darling bike only to find... NO MILK CRATE. Not only are you an asshole, you're also STUPID. You stole the only thing on the bike that I didn't pay for. Do you realize that you can get milk crates for free from grocery stores and most alleys in Chicago? Instead you steal them off my bike. It took a long time to find the exact right way to wrap that damn bungie cord on the right way. And you didn't even steal the bungie cord! At least that's worth $2.19 at Home Depot! Seriously dude, get a life. Happy 2 year anniversary to me. Time to "borrow" a Dean's Food milk crate again from the Lincoln Park Market.