I'm Home for the Holidays!

I have two homes. The home where I grew up and the home where I pay rent. I'm at the former. This two home phenomenon started when I moved to Evanston, IL for college. 1,000 miles away from the home I knew, I've since called dorm rooms, sorority houses, off-campus houses, and and an array of apartments my second, and not quite real, home.

I'd like to say that the second home will feel like my real home at some point in the next few years, but it hasn't happened yet. Case in point: my boss asked her direct reports for their home address because she wanted to ship us something. Immediately, I hit Reply All and listed Westmoreland, NH. After seeing a few other responses, I soon realized she meant my local address.

When my parents shipped my childhood possessions to my college apartment so they could turn my old bedroom into the office, I thought, "maybe this apartment will feel like my real home." It didn't. When I rented my very own one-bedroom apartment in the city, I thought, "maybe this will feel like my real home." It didn't. After I adopted two cats and started my own little family, I thought, "maybe this will feel like my real home." It didn't. Once I added a roommate and we moved to a homier two-bedroom apartment, I thought, "maybe this will feel like my real home." It didn't. Then this year we tried a three-bedroom apartment in a family-friendly neighborhood where my boyfriend could easily find street parking. I thought for sure, this would feel like my real home. It's been six months since we moved in and still it's not my real home.

Perhaps home happens when you settle down long enough to take out a mortgage for the walls around you. Or maybe home happens when a boyfriend takes the place of a roommate. Could it be I just need to stay in one place for more than one year? Whenever it happens, I hope it correlates to feeling like an adult. Most of the time I still feel like a recent graduate who's playing "business" the way a little girl would play house.