Champaign-Urbana, But Also the Big Spill

This week I took Tuesday - Thursday off from work so I could visit my best friend, Lauren Grill. She moved down here in August and has a job teaching and developing a new online course offering.

The timing of the trip couldn't have been better. Work has been busy, but more than busy it's been stressful due to a team structure change, annual review cycle, and another dead end. It hasn't been a secret that I've been looking for roles off my team for some time, but for a second time in a row I haven't gotten the new role I was exploring. To be fair, no one will be getting this role as it was taken off the table. Why do I want to leave the team? It's not the actual work, which I like a lot, nor is it the people, my peers are great, it's the disorganization of the team as a whole.

Yesterday, Brandon was in town for a meeting and came out to lunch with Lauren and me, along with some of Lauren's friends here. Before Josh and Marina met up with us, though, we stopped at a coffee shop (Espresso Royale) and started talking about our master plans. I mentioned how I want to take a week off to just stay at home and figure out where I'm going. I've come to realize over the last year that maybe internet marketing, maybe Google, isn't the right fit.

I was in 8th grade when I decided my last master plan. Given that was 11 years ago, it might be time to revisit the plan and also the end goal.

Goal: To be an Advertising Executive
Plan: Exceed in high school > Get into a good college > Major in Communications/Marketing > Exceed in college > Land my dream job in Advertising or Marketing

The problem is, I don't like the plan or the goal anymore.

In sales, you need your clients to understand the "So what?" before you can close the sale. "YouTube is the number two search engine in the US, so what?" In life, I want to be able to answer the same question. "You're working in online ad sales, so what?"

Right now the answer is, "So, if I succeed in my job, Google will make money and... Visa will get one more credit card application, or Zappos will sell another shoe, or a family will test Kayak.com for the first time."

I realize I'm being pessimistic. I could also say, "So, if I succeed in my job, I can afford to maintain my current lifestyle while also saving for the future."

But still. If I retired at age 67, that means I'm working for another 42 years. 42 years. I feel this sense that those years should be spent in jobs I love, ideally helping others as well as helping myself.

I found this interesting website, Humane Career Toolbox, yesterday while doing a brief job search. I plan to start working my way through the site to at least learn more. I do know that unless I'm willing to become a veterinarian, which I've already ruled out, there's no hope I could maintain my current lifestyle.

So maybe it's not a career with animals. Maybe it's a start-up. The kind of place where I'm supporting a product or service I happen to love. Maybe it's just a different team at work. The kind of team with a clearer sense of direction. Maybe...

What I do know is this. It's great to have a master plan. It served me well up to this point. But master plans aren't blueprints, they're more like hypotheses. Hypotheses that the foundation I'm building now is what I'll want years ahead. Hypotheses that the framework will survive life's curve balls. And those are big guesses.

So for now, here's the interim plan:
Have fun. Spend time with my friends and family. Actively search for jobs that make me smile. Relish being young and in love.

And as for the plan for the rest of my day...
I'm now going to take Kiera for a walk while Lauren finishes up volunteering at the shelter here in Urbana. Then she and I have a shopping date. Retail therapy. I get a birthday present, she gets a housewarming gift, but mostly we get to spend all day together talking, laughing, and just generally having fun.